AN UPDATE & SOME NONSENSE

Hello again folks :) I hope all is well in your world?

I've not updated in a while, I've been busy, motivated to practice but not motivated enough to blog, I'm sure you all know what that feels like Lol

My morning practice is going well, I'm still having issues with Marichyasana D but as of late I've found myself doing Navasana & Bhujapidasana before going onto finishing.  I've been getting up at 06:10am for a while now, approx 2 months & I can certainly feel a difference within myself & see a difference in the mirror (predominant tamas guna? Lol).  I feel I've lost a little flexibility but gained a freakish amount of strength! Lol to be completely honest I'm glad, sometimes I felt too flexible with no control. Using Kino's dvd on work days & doing "my own" practice on my days off is a nice balance, the dvd certainly helps motivate me to get started, I've found myself switching it off after suryB as it has "done its job" so to speak.

More importantly I feel major changes in my outlook & well-being, these changes are positive but a little frustrating, which I'll admit to struggling with.  I've found myself questioning past decisions & actions which still have an influence in my present, my relationships with friends & family are also under scrutiny.  I'm not blaming ashtanga for causing any trouble, I'm thanking ashtanga for giving me the emotional freedom to see these areas of my life clearly.  Getting up for your morning practice is getting up & making yourself the number 1 priority & investing time, energy & concentration in your own well-being, your spiritual, mental & physical health.  Doing this will clearly influence the relationship with your inner self, which in turn will influence all relationships as you relate to yourself differently.  I want (& need) to remove the negative influences in my life, & yes some of these "influences" are people.  In the past I would've felt guilty about writing that but today I feel relieved lol tough times, but worthwhile & I know I've always got my practice :)      

Another day, another practice

Good evening all! Just a short update from me today.

I got up a little earlier this morning, 06:10am, & oh boy did I feel it! Getting up was a struggle, the pull of coffee was strong enough to get me out of bed, down stairs & in front of my kettle.  I usually have my cuppa sitting in Baddha Konasana but this morning I wrapped my self up in a throw, I felt the difference in my hips later I can tell you!  Today's practice was tough, shaky & brought me back down to earth after my 2 days of blissfully floating on my mat (as if, but you know what I mean lol).  I was shocked to feel a big difference in Triang Mukha Ekapada Pashimottanasana, I've been training my knees daily by sitting with my with both feet back & a cushion under me & wow what a difference it's made, much more stability :)  I had my usual issues with Marichyasana D, I did feel more open to the twist which is giving my hope, I know this game, I've played it before, one day all of a sudden Marichyasana D will come to me & I'll end up loving it, "yoga teaches us to let go of progress & to dance in the joy of progressing spontaneously through dedication" seems appropriate.  Again I carried on though, I stopped after Navasana, I did three again with my knees bent in my 2nd and 3rd go due to burning quads - feeling it in Utthita Hasta Padangushtasana as well, as well as feeling "it" I'm also feeling a lot more strength & ease in UHP especially.  I was a little unsteady in Setu Bandhasana, which was quickly forgotten as Urdhva Dhanurasana was amazing! So open, light & refreshing before heading into finishing.  (one more complaint) Baddha Padmasana, reaching round to grab my feet *feels* impossible! Lol Again, there's always tomorrow :)

HEY FOLKS, ALL'S GOOD AT THIS END :-)

I seem to be back on track, I've done my practice everyday since my last update :-) The quiet space in my head is back and growing by the day :-) I've got a few stresses lingering around in my world right now but you know what, I can't really call them stresses any more. When you have a break from your practice the world starts to get a little heavy, sticky and, to be completely honest, a little claustrophobic. Once you're back on your mat and then back on your mat and then back on your mat ........................................................... the world is a different place, in a phenomonolical sense of course lol Any way, a little update on my practice!

Yesterday, Monday, I was off work so decided to have a lazy morning with my husband, I didn't practice until after 3pm! (so I really had a lazy morning and early afternoon lol) When I did get around to unrolling my mat it wasn't just practice, it was ASHTANGA YOGA PRACTICE BABY! lol Honestly my breathe was so strong, bandha's weren't tight but felt very strong as well and I seemed to melt into every pose. I happily went with it, I had my usual physical battle with Marichyasana D (read more on that later) but no mental battle, my mind didn't get in the way of my intelligence, I usually get a bout of "och I've had enough" but not today. Navasana was tough! But not too tough, admittedly though I did three (pretty well I might add) and then had a wee breather for the remainder (I forgot to say, I was using Kino's DVD again). My quads were a bit sore by now, I went through the whole, "should I stop? Is this ego?" and then I had a brilliant idea, a complete genius of a moment! Without even thinking about it I RETURNED TO THE BREATHE and carried on to Bhujapidasana, I've forgotten how much I enjoy this asana. I "jumped" over my arms, landed in a squat with my with my feet in front of my hands and then slipped my shoulders under my legs - works every time. I had a little trouble getting my feet through, nothing a little wiggle of my right toe couldn't fix, then exhaled down until my forehead was on the floor - lovely - I tried getting my chin down but alas no luck. This is where things get interesting, again I kept going! Kurmasana! oh how I've missed you! We haven't seen each other in YEARS! lol I got into it the same way as Bhujapidasana, "jumped" into a squat, tucked my arms under my legs a little further so my knees were over my shoulders then planted my behind, another asana I've forgotten how much I used to love, used to? still love! I tried with Supta Kurmasana, I got my left foot behind my head but the right wasn't for moving. So that's what I'm "working on" now, Supta K :-) On to backbends, getting better - legs are straight and my arms are getting there, finishing and then finally Shavasana - I've got to say this is one of the best sessions on the mat I've had in years! Long let it continue! - as if eh

Anyway onto today's practice, I was expecting a "that'll teach yah" practice after my exploits the day before but I had a precious surprise :-) No tight muscles, not even any tightness in my hamstrings, AMAZING! Again I chose to use Kino's DVD (is that a bad thing? should I wean myself off it? Any thoughts or am I just being self critical? lol) and the same thing happened, I was lost in my breathe! I had a little breather after Purvottanasana as my husband got up and through me a little, long story, short version; big bag = a fright for Dom lol I nearly let it get to me but I returned to my mat and more importantly to my breathe. I had the usual Marichyasana D battle, thinking about the Supta K right let experience; right hip needs to open at some point! Again I continued, Navasana was sore, my quads were burning so I kept to my three but the last two were with bent legs, I'll get there. Exactly the same experience with Bhujapidasana, and exactly the same amount of love! *MMMMmmmmmmmmm warm and fuzzy* Kurmasana was another story, I got into it the same way, exhaling on my third breathe I managed to lift my chest a bit more which, unfortunately, was accompanied with a very sharp pain deep in my left hip! So I quickly came out and up out of it, I'm thinking something was still a little tender from the day before I'll be more gentle tomorrow and report back. I had a lovely pop, actually it was more like a crack, in my thoracic spine coming up in Setu Bandhasana which really changed my Urdhva Dhanurasana experience. My chest and shoulders felt more open, wider even, and my breathe was stronger and deeper, fingers crossed this stays with me eh

Enough's enough, I'm getting looks for writing for so long lol See you all soon :-)

FINALLY! :)

Hey folks!  I chose not to write anything yesterday, I didn't get up to practice due to a rough night & chose not to spread more venom about it on here lol (does anyone have a quick fix for my husband's snoring?)

Anyway, back to today! I got up at 06:30am, it was still dark, I had a coffee while sitting in Baddha Konasana (my hips are so tight in the morning) & hit my mat by 7am.  I used Kino's primary dvd for a little motivation, I've got to say I like it more than John Scott's practice dvd, his seemed very alow & Kino's is a little more my pace.  I also like Kino's little talks throughout, they're not distracting at all.

I practiced up to Ardha Baddha Padma Pashimottanasana, I could've done more but this is where I had got to in the series before my "break" from morning practice, my "break" from practice all together! Lol  Urdhva Dhanurasana scared the pants off me!  I've lost a bit of flexibility as well as strength there, it'll come back! Strangely I really enjoyed the rest of the finishing sequence, especially Pindasana & Matsyasana which is strange for me as they were always kind of bleh for me, they've never struck a nerve until this morning.  I had a cat related incident in Shirshasana, my mad kitten Katy (the terror kitten) decided to lick the sweat of my face - Pratyahara was tested too far! Lol  So I had to stop, remove Katy & try to get back into the groove, which was helped along by extra breathes in Urdhva Dandasana, I was there for what felt like 50 breathes, I *love* that asana, once you get the balance between effort & ease it's so relaxing but, paradoxically, invigorating too (reminds me of Utthita Hasta Padangushtasana in that aspect).  After my unfulfilling efforts trying to grab my toes in Yoga Mudra I was happy to move on, what's the secret? Why can't I reach my feet!? *"return to the breathe" - thanx Kino*  On to Utpluthi, which I also enjoy, feels like it should exhaust you but, alas, invigorating! One thing I did notice is Kino's a cheat! She uses the soles of her feet against her arms to keep her lotus lifted! I was shocked & had to have another look after Shavasana lol

As I'm working tonight & don't get home until nearly 11am so there'll be no practice until then.  I'm planning on using Kino's dvd again but also considering only using it on the days that I'm working, on my days off a I'm more likely to add more asanas on my own terms.  

What time is it? WHAT!? ARE YOU SURE!? Eww *dizzy* Ouch *sore*

My title completely sums up the last 2 days, I've had no concept of time, I kept zoning out in-between feeling dizzy, again!  

Yesterday, my 1st day of work, I had every intention on doing my practice, I woke up early, had a coffee & then felt a little dizzy again so I waited until I was home from work to decide to hit my mat or take another day off, as it was a moonday/restday I did put a little pressure on myself, tut tut tut! Lol Anyway once I was home & settled I was happy to indulge in a little sofa time while I caught up with John, I'd set a time to unroll my mat & just as I was about to get changed I hear an ungodly yelp from John.  As he was leaning forward to pick his cup of tea his back went into a painful spasm, after considerable laughter from myself it was clear my practice time would have to be spend sorting him out with a Dr's appointment *sigh*

Onto today, even though today was a restday due to the lack of yoga the day before I decided to do a renegade practice tut tut tut!  Alas this didn't happen :( It was due to a number of things, 1 being the tail end of an ear infection, still getting a dizzy spell now & again, & the usual dramas of any day really.  Today's helped me appreciate the benefits of getting up early, having a coffee & then unrolling my mat, the day doesn't prepare you for yoga but boy does yoga prepare you for the day!  In the end I'm happy taking that from today disappointments & I ain't going to start judging myself negatively, I'll be glad of the extra couple of days rest in no time at all lol

So my alarm's set, 06:30am, I can't wait now, bring on the morning! (cut to me posting pics of me hugging my mat lol)

WOW it's been a while ............

After a little adventure trying to sign back onto here I'm finally back! :)

The next logical question; WHERE DO I START!? lol

Well as for my practice I've done pretty well :)  I finally got myself into doing my practice in the morning, I seem to have deconditioned my attachments to getting up at 6:10am lol I started off getting up half an hour earlier & built up my practice based on the time I had allocated, it worked brilliantly & as a second benefit I lost my attachment to asana & became more in tune with *my practice* (I hope that makes sense?).  You'll all be thinking "how fabulous" &, indeed yes it was, was being the appropriate word lol.  As of late I've not practiced since the 6th of September (my birthday), since then I've put it off as I felt exhausted, dizzy & nauseous :(  After complaining & moaning & generally getting on everyone's nerves I finally got to the Dr's to find I had an inner ear infection & to be given antibiotics (which I hate, hate, HATE taking, I'm too "anti-medication" for my own good).  So that's where I'm at as they say, but I'm feeling better & missing my practice dearly so fingers crossed tomorrow'll be the day I get back to my mat :) HOORAH!

M.I.A

Well hello there! I'm writing this to explain my absence of late - don't mind if I keep this short, I dislike focussing on the negative too much as you'll understand.

Last week everything was going well, I was practicing every other day & enjoying writing about it on here, I was happily relaxing into a lovely little yoga groove. Due to a long going dispute with my not so pleasant next door neighbor we decided to move our bedroom (basically to get some peace to sleep at night! Swines!), while I was moving furniture I felt a tightness in my upper back between my shoulders, something that worried me as I used to be a 'Moving & Handling' trainer, all was fine though, until I practiced that night! When I jumped up into a balance during Utkatasana I heared a 'snap' & a shockingly vicious pain in between my shoulderblades! After 'yelping' at the top of my voice obviously I stopped my practice. It felt better by that evening, a lot looser & without pain, until the next morning that is! When I got up on Saturday morning I couldn't inhale without shooting pains traveling up my spine & around my scalp, I felt disabled & 'out of action' - which was very worrying as I've never injured myself doing Ashtanga, basically I felt like a right knob! Lol Thankfully after doing some light Hatha work on Sunday & Monday I'm back on my mat! But I'm being very very careful, yesterday, also due to time restrictions as well as injury, I did a light ashtanga practice (surys, standing sequence & finishing sequence only) which felt great!

I'm so greatful to be back on my mat, I know of a few people that have had long running injuries & I can't imagine anything worse, this experience has reassured me about respecting my limits & being greatful regarding those limits.

I'm working on another blog regarding a love/hate list of asanas, we've all got poses we love & poses we loath - get ready to hear all about my loves & loaths

PICTURE PERFECT?

Hello again, this post will include my much discussed pictures; unfortunately there's only 2 at the moment, my photographer (my husband lol) went AWOL during today's practice.

This is a tough post for me, as I suffer from an eating disorder coupled with body dysmorphic disorder, I'll probably catch myself being rather self critical but if I miss a small non-constructive criticism please let me know!?

Firstly Parivritta Trikonasana

As this is the first picture I've ever seen of myself doing ashtanga, I'm over the moon with it! Right, now that's out of the way lets get objective; My right hip's a little out of sync, I feel my left arm could be a lot straighter and rolling my shoulders down my back wouldn't go a miss - any thoughts? Again I actually love this picture, it's a strange and new sensation as I've never liked a picture of myself, let alone loved it! To be honest I can hardly believe that that's me, where's the rolls of fat? where's that ugly dude I see in the mirror? (I'm not meaning to blow my own vuvuzela or stroke my ego, this is a BIG moment for me eh, the only criticism I've got is, look at my ribs! bleurgh! I need to put on weight!)

Secondly Urdhva Dhanurasana

Unfortunately this picture horrifies me! Look at my funky outward pointing feet!? Look at my hand-shoulder alignment!? Look at my upper-back!? Where did my flexibility go? True this was before I "downed my head" and walked my hands in but still! Keeping all that in mind during my practice today was very rewarding if not surprising, after "downing my head" and walking my hands in (3 times), I rocked back and forth, inhale -weight on the feet, exhale-weight on the hands, after doing this 5 or 6 times my feet magically lifted of the floor! I've always concentrated on my hands lifting BUT MY FEET??? What's that about? I got such a fright I had to stop and ask, "Did that really happen?" If this has occurred during your practice please let me know ASAP, as it's freaked me out a little LOL.

Due to my lovely husband taking these pictures I've been in touch with a friend of mine that fancies herself a bit of a photographer, she's agreed to come over next week. Yes, that's right! I'll be getting "ashtanga papped", between you and me, I CAN'T WAIT!!!! :-)

P.S. If you like the pants and fancy a private viewing get in touch with my Husband LOL

PAST, PRESENT & PICTURES :-)

As I wrote yesterday I want to explore my reaction to a couple of pictures I had my husband take of me practicing yesterday, unfortunately this will have to wait as I am working today & can't upload pictures, I know, so sad. But onwards & upwards! I'd like to explain my past experiences with ashtanga, where I am today in my practice & my thoughts - so here we go!

I started doing yoga when I was 14, I discovered Hatha yoga on my quest to 'be thin', it wasn't very yogic as it was straight out of Heat (Hate) magazine! I soon grew out of my quest with yoga's help, it wasn't about losing weight anymore, it was about pushing my boundaries, my bodies limits. I found it quite easy, I noticed 'improvement' in my practice daily, getting deeper into asanas etc. I was close to 16 when I came across ashtanga & I FELL HEAD OVER HEALS IN LOVE! (no chakrasana pun intended) As I was already quite flexible & strong I quickly learnt the primary series, looking back I learnt it far to quickly through pushing myself so hard, I'm one of those very annoying 'naturally flexible people' you see. Anyway, to continue, I practiced 5 to 6 days a week, I ignored 'moondays' & all the spiritual aspects of ashtanga, I was basically an asana-junky! At this piont of my life, how can I say this, the 'shit hit the fan' seems appropriate, I ended up homeless, very ill with an eating disorder & I dabbled in a few illegal substances - well my teens can't be all yoga, can they? Once my life had settled down, I started to practice again, once more it was all asana until the next trauma kicked me off my mat, my mother passed away when I was 19 & I turned my back on everything that was important to me for a good 10 months to a year. Once I was out of this 'dark time' I focussed my world on my marriage & education while 'now & again' hitting my mat. Now 24, 25 this September, I've decided to truly go for, to truly experience ashtanga yoga for all it has to offer, not merely asana but all 8 limbs! When I was studying to be a counsellor/psychotherapist I was given the opportunity to explore my past, values, beliefs & my development in the future, I was astonished at my strength, concentration, unconditional positive regard & ability to empathise in comparison to other students (who were all double my age) - all down to ashtanga! During my training I'd listen to clients troubles, they'd let me into the deepest scariest regions of their minds, I was always right there with them, never scared & always accepting, it took me a while to realize but this was also - all down to ashtanga! 'Never expect a client to go where you've not gone yourself' - as everyone who's practiced ashtanga knows, when it's just you on your mat, bending & breathing, THERE'S NOWHERE TO HIDE & YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR PRACTICE WILL TAKE YOU! So I found myself wanting to scream ''WHY DON'T YOU BUY A BOOK ON YOGA, A MAT & CANCEL YOUR THERAPY!?'' At the end of the day, who was I screaming at? I was full of angst about 'human potential' & I wasn't even trying to reach my own potential - another gift of ashtanga, my insight. So earlier this year I took the plunge, I walked away from my studies, streamlined my life & started to practice, practice & practice! Which has brought me here, struggling to put my daily practice in place, fighting with my body's abilities & tweeting incoherently about it!!!!
PRACTICE - at the moment my practice is all over the place, at least once a week but no more than 4 times, which is nonsense as I have the time to do it 5, maybe 6 times a week, easily! Something I'm hoping to encourage through keeping a blog.
Right now I'm happily holding back within my practice, I can do the full primary series, but I have found a lot of comfort 'going slow', I happily do 5 of each sury namaskara, standing sequence, practice up to Navasana, throw in Setu Bandhasana & Urdhva Dhanurasana for good measure & then do the finishing sequence. I'm in no rush & think my new found patience is a glorious thing, I am greatful for giving myself the time to not 'go slow' but to 'grow slow'.

So that's me folks, I hope I don't disappoint & those pics will be here tomorrow, fingers crossed! :-)

THE FIRST OF MANY!

Well hello there!

I'm new to all this so you will have to have patience with me, I will be writing a post tomorrow accompanied by two photo's.

Tomorrows post will be a little explanation of my practice, problems and joys, and my reaction to getting a couple of photo's taken of my practice; A challenging but, as always, rewarding experience.

I'll see you tomorrow :-)