M.I.A

Well hello there! I'm writing this to explain my absence of late - don't mind if I keep this short, I dislike focussing on the negative too much as you'll understand.

Last week everything was going well, I was practicing every other day & enjoying writing about it on here, I was happily relaxing into a lovely little yoga groove. Due to a long going dispute with my not so pleasant next door neighbor we decided to move our bedroom (basically to get some peace to sleep at night! Swines!), while I was moving furniture I felt a tightness in my upper back between my shoulders, something that worried me as I used to be a 'Moving & Handling' trainer, all was fine though, until I practiced that night! When I jumped up into a balance during Utkatasana I heared a 'snap' & a shockingly vicious pain in between my shoulderblades! After 'yelping' at the top of my voice obviously I stopped my practice. It felt better by that evening, a lot looser & without pain, until the next morning that is! When I got up on Saturday morning I couldn't inhale without shooting pains traveling up my spine & around my scalp, I felt disabled & 'out of action' - which was very worrying as I've never injured myself doing Ashtanga, basically I felt like a right knob! Lol Thankfully after doing some light Hatha work on Sunday & Monday I'm back on my mat! But I'm being very very careful, yesterday, also due to time restrictions as well as injury, I did a light ashtanga practice (surys, standing sequence & finishing sequence only) which felt great!

I'm so greatful to be back on my mat, I know of a few people that have had long running injuries & I can't imagine anything worse, this experience has reassured me about respecting my limits & being greatful regarding those limits.

I'm working on another blog regarding a love/hate list of asanas, we've all got poses we love & poses we loath - get ready to hear all about my loves & loaths

PICTURE PERFECT?

Hello again, this post will include my much discussed pictures; unfortunately there's only 2 at the moment, my photographer (my husband lol) went AWOL during today's practice.

This is a tough post for me, as I suffer from an eating disorder coupled with body dysmorphic disorder, I'll probably catch myself being rather self critical but if I miss a small non-constructive criticism please let me know!?

Firstly Parivritta Trikonasana

As this is the first picture I've ever seen of myself doing ashtanga, I'm over the moon with it! Right, now that's out of the way lets get objective; My right hip's a little out of sync, I feel my left arm could be a lot straighter and rolling my shoulders down my back wouldn't go a miss - any thoughts? Again I actually love this picture, it's a strange and new sensation as I've never liked a picture of myself, let alone loved it! To be honest I can hardly believe that that's me, where's the rolls of fat? where's that ugly dude I see in the mirror? (I'm not meaning to blow my own vuvuzela or stroke my ego, this is a BIG moment for me eh, the only criticism I've got is, look at my ribs! bleurgh! I need to put on weight!)

Secondly Urdhva Dhanurasana

Unfortunately this picture horrifies me! Look at my funky outward pointing feet!? Look at my hand-shoulder alignment!? Look at my upper-back!? Where did my flexibility go? True this was before I "downed my head" and walked my hands in but still! Keeping all that in mind during my practice today was very rewarding if not surprising, after "downing my head" and walking my hands in (3 times), I rocked back and forth, inhale -weight on the feet, exhale-weight on the hands, after doing this 5 or 6 times my feet magically lifted of the floor! I've always concentrated on my hands lifting BUT MY FEET??? What's that about? I got such a fright I had to stop and ask, "Did that really happen?" If this has occurred during your practice please let me know ASAP, as it's freaked me out a little LOL.

Due to my lovely husband taking these pictures I've been in touch with a friend of mine that fancies herself a bit of a photographer, she's agreed to come over next week. Yes, that's right! I'll be getting "ashtanga papped", between you and me, I CAN'T WAIT!!!! :-)

P.S. If you like the pants and fancy a private viewing get in touch with my Husband LOL

PAST, PRESENT & PICTURES :-)

As I wrote yesterday I want to explore my reaction to a couple of pictures I had my husband take of me practicing yesterday, unfortunately this will have to wait as I am working today & can't upload pictures, I know, so sad. But onwards & upwards! I'd like to explain my past experiences with ashtanga, where I am today in my practice & my thoughts - so here we go!

I started doing yoga when I was 14, I discovered Hatha yoga on my quest to 'be thin', it wasn't very yogic as it was straight out of Heat (Hate) magazine! I soon grew out of my quest with yoga's help, it wasn't about losing weight anymore, it was about pushing my boundaries, my bodies limits. I found it quite easy, I noticed 'improvement' in my practice daily, getting deeper into asanas etc. I was close to 16 when I came across ashtanga & I FELL HEAD OVER HEALS IN LOVE! (no chakrasana pun intended) As I was already quite flexible & strong I quickly learnt the primary series, looking back I learnt it far to quickly through pushing myself so hard, I'm one of those very annoying 'naturally flexible people' you see. Anyway, to continue, I practiced 5 to 6 days a week, I ignored 'moondays' & all the spiritual aspects of ashtanga, I was basically an asana-junky! At this piont of my life, how can I say this, the 'shit hit the fan' seems appropriate, I ended up homeless, very ill with an eating disorder & I dabbled in a few illegal substances - well my teens can't be all yoga, can they? Once my life had settled down, I started to practice again, once more it was all asana until the next trauma kicked me off my mat, my mother passed away when I was 19 & I turned my back on everything that was important to me for a good 10 months to a year. Once I was out of this 'dark time' I focussed my world on my marriage & education while 'now & again' hitting my mat. Now 24, 25 this September, I've decided to truly go for, to truly experience ashtanga yoga for all it has to offer, not merely asana but all 8 limbs! When I was studying to be a counsellor/psychotherapist I was given the opportunity to explore my past, values, beliefs & my development in the future, I was astonished at my strength, concentration, unconditional positive regard & ability to empathise in comparison to other students (who were all double my age) - all down to ashtanga! During my training I'd listen to clients troubles, they'd let me into the deepest scariest regions of their minds, I was always right there with them, never scared & always accepting, it took me a while to realize but this was also - all down to ashtanga! 'Never expect a client to go where you've not gone yourself' - as everyone who's practiced ashtanga knows, when it's just you on your mat, bending & breathing, THERE'S NOWHERE TO HIDE & YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR PRACTICE WILL TAKE YOU! So I found myself wanting to scream ''WHY DON'T YOU BUY A BOOK ON YOGA, A MAT & CANCEL YOUR THERAPY!?'' At the end of the day, who was I screaming at? I was full of angst about 'human potential' & I wasn't even trying to reach my own potential - another gift of ashtanga, my insight. So earlier this year I took the plunge, I walked away from my studies, streamlined my life & started to practice, practice & practice! Which has brought me here, struggling to put my daily practice in place, fighting with my body's abilities & tweeting incoherently about it!!!!
PRACTICE - at the moment my practice is all over the place, at least once a week but no more than 4 times, which is nonsense as I have the time to do it 5, maybe 6 times a week, easily! Something I'm hoping to encourage through keeping a blog.
Right now I'm happily holding back within my practice, I can do the full primary series, but I have found a lot of comfort 'going slow', I happily do 5 of each sury namaskara, standing sequence, practice up to Navasana, throw in Setu Bandhasana & Urdhva Dhanurasana for good measure & then do the finishing sequence. I'm in no rush & think my new found patience is a glorious thing, I am greatful for giving myself the time to not 'go slow' but to 'grow slow'.

So that's me folks, I hope I don't disappoint & those pics will be here tomorrow, fingers crossed! :-)

THE FIRST OF MANY!

Well hello there!

I'm new to all this so you will have to have patience with me, I will be writing a post tomorrow accompanied by two photo's.

Tomorrows post will be a little explanation of my practice, problems and joys, and my reaction to getting a couple of photo's taken of my practice; A challenging but, as always, rewarding experience.

I'll see you tomorrow :-)